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Feeling lost and how it can help you find yourself

07/02/18

Some beautiful paths can’t be discovered without getting lost.

The topic of today’s post is simply the feeling of being completely and utterly lost in your life. I feel that since hitting my mid-twenties, I have literally entered into my own crisis.

I guess it all starts with my identity.

Being a second generation immigrant and feeling like you’re both stuck between two worlds but never really fitting into a single one has always been my forte. Forever you are clouded, trying to fit into a western world but at the back of your mind also thinking about your oriental roots and questioning yourself in situations which frankly do not really need second guessing (ie: eating with your hands, without cutlery! lol). Don’t get me wrong, I am forever thankful for my parent for giving me the discipline, work ethic and of course, independence. I just feel like I am always torn between my western ways and traditions whilst respecting the past and the importance of your Asian customs but never really 100% fitting into either worlds.

We are now living in a world filled with vast amounts of knowledge, the most we have ever had. This has a major influence on our thoughts, and life itself. In my last blog post, I touched on the ‘lul’ I’ve been feeling the past couple of months and the major factor in that is from this sense of being lost.

I’ve only recently opened up about it with my closest friends and to my surprise they get it too. I guess it helps that we’re all around the same age feeling the same fears, woes and thoughts and I really hate to admit this but I’ve also even googled ‘How to survive your 20s’ and even ‘is mid-twenties crisis a thing?’. That’s the great thing about Google and the internet; the freedom and wealth of information it can give you is frankly quite comforting. I found that there were hundreds of articles on this matter and all of them say pretty much the same things about ‘the crisis’.

  1. Being on ‘autopilot / limbo’ – First of all you seem trapped, you feel these overwhelmingly uncomfortable emotions for the situation you’re in, whether it be a relationship, job or a mixture of everything and you feel as if you are going through the motions where you envisage a future of certainty.
  2. You decide to let go of all the negativity and bad vibes in your life because you realise that it’s not worth it and you literally cut everything from your life that simply doesn’t cut it anymore – relationships, work, dairy anything that doesn’t simply fit.
  3. You go on a journey of self-discovery to find out who you really are; embracing past hobbies you used to like when you were a teenager, finding a ‘club / class’ to occupy all this free time you have generated and not to mention connecting to those friends and colleagues you’ve lost touch with and of course if not the most important thing travelling the world in search of thrills and different scenes. You literally will sign up to anything but the ordinary surroundings you’ve been accustomed to for the how ever many years you’ve felt no.1 in.
  4. You finally find your ‘Zen’ and you eventually realise that the money you’ve spent on your ‘self discovery’ was probably best spent on something more adult like a deposit on a house or a car. You then find yourself more committed and driven to want to fulfil those new aspirations and dreams you have.

Currently I feel like I’m between 3 & 4 with this strong sense of Wanderlust but at the same time, your girl got bills to pay and has to continue with smart spending. If anything I am just relieved. Honestly you don’t know how comforting it feels for me to feel that I am not alone in this whole getting lost / loosing yourself and it actually is a normal thing to feel this way and lose yourself even at this age where you are supposed to know everything.

The first step is to admit that you’re lost and by talking to even just one person about your worries and feelings will open up the gateway to a path for the future. I guess at the end of the day we’re all just coasting along right? And at least we’re in this together, you my friend are not alone and please remember, not all who wonder are lost.

Love, Pingkan x

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2 responses to “Feeling lost and how it can help you find yourself”

  1. Ruth says:

    Beautiful pictures. Everything you said is SO relatable, life is never a clear path but you are never alone my friend!

    Love you x

  2. jessica says:

    Not only is finding Zen important but I have always believed that the path you are on in life is always changing!
    Thank you for always stopping by! xo, Jessica || The Petite Diaries

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